I am getting inspired to write a few upcoming posts about financial matters. Specifically, things that I have learned or that have helped me in getting through the minefield of juggling finances as a single woman again; having to adjust to not only a single income but added pressure in the form of medical bills, credit card debt, etc.
I hope that these tips will be helpful. One of my goals in writing this blog is to share what I have learned, in hopes of helping someone else. Or maybe starting a dialogue and learning something new myself! :)
So stay tuned.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Saying Goodbye with Hospice
We learned a few things about saying goodbye during our short experience with hospice. The main thing I learned was that no matter how much time you have, it's never as long as you think. You never believe how quickly the time slips away, even though you have been told how rapidly it will be gone.
Take that time to connect with your loved one where they are emotionally. If they want to talk about memories, then talk about that. If they want to have a heart to heart chat about their mortality, don't shy away from that topic. Be honest and direct. Tell them what is in your heart, and how they have impacted your life. Tell them they won't be forgotten, and they mattered to you. Most of all, let them guide the conversation. Respond to what they have to share with you.
Robby and I never really got to have these talks. Because of the tumor he really couldn't talk much from the time it was diagnosed, and it only got worse. The hardest part was not hearing him say "I love you." He was one of those guys that would tell me he loved me half a dozen times per day. He would call to check in with me during the day, and he (we) never hung up the phone or walked out the door without saying we loved each other. Not hearing that for such a long time, and at some point realizing I would never hear his voice again, was heartbreaking.
As their life draws to a close, people tend to withdraw. They "close in" and sports, politics or what's on TV in the next room doesn't matter. All that matters is the immediate, the physical. I'm hot. I'm cold. I love you. Do you love me? Be present with them, and listen. Be quiet and respond. Hold their hand and let them know you are there. That is the best gift you can give them as they die. To be a witness to their life and their death. And to make sure they are not forgotten.
Take that time to connect with your loved one where they are emotionally. If they want to talk about memories, then talk about that. If they want to have a heart to heart chat about their mortality, don't shy away from that topic. Be honest and direct. Tell them what is in your heart, and how they have impacted your life. Tell them they won't be forgotten, and they mattered to you. Most of all, let them guide the conversation. Respond to what they have to share with you.
Robby and I never really got to have these talks. Because of the tumor he really couldn't talk much from the time it was diagnosed, and it only got worse. The hardest part was not hearing him say "I love you." He was one of those guys that would tell me he loved me half a dozen times per day. He would call to check in with me during the day, and he (we) never hung up the phone or walked out the door without saying we loved each other. Not hearing that for such a long time, and at some point realizing I would never hear his voice again, was heartbreaking.
As their life draws to a close, people tend to withdraw. They "close in" and sports, politics or what's on TV in the next room doesn't matter. All that matters is the immediate, the physical. I'm hot. I'm cold. I love you. Do you love me? Be present with them, and listen. Be quiet and respond. Hold their hand and let them know you are there. That is the best gift you can give them as they die. To be a witness to their life and their death. And to make sure they are not forgotten.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Memories Are Made Of This
This song reminds me so much for Robby today - it was one of his favorite songs! I got out the Dean Martin CD this morning as I was baking cookies to listen to it; Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin are my usual choices in the stereo when I bake. :)
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Fall Back Into Blogging Day 4 - Fave Fall Recipe
OK, this isn't one of my favorite recipes ... YET. Only because I haven't made it yet. But I am sure that it will soon become a fall staple around our house.
Because you see ... we love cheesecake. Yes, my daughters and I are in love with cheesecake. I know it's certainly not the healthiest of treats, but there's just something about it that calls to us ... begs us to indulge. So we do. With great pleasure.
http://pinterest.com/jmerrell81/recipes-to-try/ - that's the link to my Pinterest board with all the recipes that I have been meaning to try. You will find the recipe there. Here's a picture too, BTW:
Because you see ... we love cheesecake. Yes, my daughters and I are in love with cheesecake. I know it's certainly not the healthiest of treats, but there's just something about it that calls to us ... begs us to indulge. So we do. With great pleasure.
PUMPKIN CHEESECAKE
http://pinterest.com/jmerrell81/recipes-to-try/ - that's the link to my Pinterest board with all the recipes that I have been meaning to try. You will find the recipe there. Here's a picture too, BTW:
Doesn't that look yummy!
So what is YOUR favorite fall recipe or treat?
Leave a comment and/or link below.
Sharing is good. :)
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Wednesday's "Fall Back Into Blogging" - Sweaters = Fall
One of the things that I look forward to most about fall is the chance to get my sweaters off the shelf in my closet and back into my apparel rotation. I love the cozy feel of sweaters, and have since I was in elementary school. There is something about their softness and warmth that reminds me of cool, crisp school mornings while waiting for the bus.
School shopping for me coincided with my early August birthday, and my grandmother always insisted on taking me to lunch at the Tea Room in Meier & Frank (back before it was May Co.) - to her back then, it was the height of sophistication. There I would invariably order a French Dip sandwich, and she would let me order a hot fudge sundae as a special birthday treat. Then we would commence to shop for cute sweater sets, cable-knit knee socks and sturdy brown "school shoes."
I like scarfs now, too. Never really thought much about them when I was younger, because they were always the heavy, cabled ones that your grandmother knitted (that would be my OTHER grandmother, because the one who took me school shopping didn't knit or sew or crochet), but as I get older a lightweight, pretty scarf appeals to me more and more each year. So now it's time to bring out my sweaters and scarves in all their glorious colors and textures! Yum!
School shopping for me coincided with my early August birthday, and my grandmother always insisted on taking me to lunch at the Tea Room in Meier & Frank (back before it was May Co.) - to her back then, it was the height of sophistication. There I would invariably order a French Dip sandwich, and she would let me order a hot fudge sundae as a special birthday treat. Then we would commence to shop for cute sweater sets, cable-knit knee socks and sturdy brown "school shoes."
I like scarfs now, too. Never really thought much about them when I was younger, because they were always the heavy, cabled ones that your grandmother knitted (that would be my OTHER grandmother, because the one who took me school shopping didn't knit or sew or crochet), but as I get older a lightweight, pretty scarf appeals to me more and more each year. So now it's time to bring out my sweaters and scarves in all their glorious colors and textures! Yum!
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Tuesday's "Fall Back Into Blogging" - What fall looks like around here
This a BEAUTIFUL photo of fall at Silver Falls State Park - about 5 miles from my house. I cannot and will not take credit for this gorgeous photo - it is the work of Don Briggs, and here is his Photostream on Flickr; it is not to be missed!
Monday, September 24, 2012
Monday's "Fall Back Into Blogging" - School Memories
I am taking part in a week-long event through SITS Girls blogging network - and today is the day we write about school memories. Think I can dredge up a few good memories from my long-ago past? I hope so.
Although there are the usual gut-wrenching memories of awkward moments, and social faux pas littered about through my grade school and high school years some of my fondest memories are of the teachers that helped inspire and encourage me - and probably didn't even know it at the time.
There was Mr. Otter, who taught Jr. AP English. During his course we were required to read several college-prep literary works, and then use them as writing assignments in our journal. Often we took a book we had just read, chose a character from the story and wrote an essay to compare and contrast our life with their experiences. Other times we made journal entries about more mundane matters. I remember an entry of mine that talked about the trials and tribulations of auditioning for the lead in the winter musical, and then seeing the part go to someone who was so OBVIOUSLY less qualified than myself. :)
Through all the teen angst that I am sure he had to wade through in our journals, Mr. Otter always found time to make encouraging comments. At least I found his comments encouraging. He told me (in red ink) that I had an engaging way of telling a story, and he felt sure that I should pursue writing as a career path.
I never really took his words to heart. I was flattered and encouraged, and found as I progressed into college that his assessment of my skill was echoed by some of my professors. But none of them every spurred me into writing as a career. Maybe Mr. Otter would be happy to know, but maybe not surprised, that I have a blog (alright, honestly - who doesn't these days) where I dabble, composing my thoughts for others to read. He has since passed away, but I would like to think that he would be proud me for putting myself out there with my reflections and musings. And that he would be signed up as a follower of this blog. :)
Although there are the usual gut-wrenching memories of awkward moments, and social faux pas littered about through my grade school and high school years some of my fondest memories are of the teachers that helped inspire and encourage me - and probably didn't even know it at the time.
There was Mr. Otter, who taught Jr. AP English. During his course we were required to read several college-prep literary works, and then use them as writing assignments in our journal. Often we took a book we had just read, chose a character from the story and wrote an essay to compare and contrast our life with their experiences. Other times we made journal entries about more mundane matters. I remember an entry of mine that talked about the trials and tribulations of auditioning for the lead in the winter musical, and then seeing the part go to someone who was so OBVIOUSLY less qualified than myself. :)
Through all the teen angst that I am sure he had to wade through in our journals, Mr. Otter always found time to make encouraging comments. At least I found his comments encouraging. He told me (in red ink) that I had an engaging way of telling a story, and he felt sure that I should pursue writing as a career path.
I never really took his words to heart. I was flattered and encouraged, and found as I progressed into college that his assessment of my skill was echoed by some of my professors. But none of them every spurred me into writing as a career. Maybe Mr. Otter would be happy to know, but maybe not surprised, that I have a blog (alright, honestly - who doesn't these days) where I dabble, composing my thoughts for others to read. He has since passed away, but I would like to think that he would be proud me for putting myself out there with my reflections and musings. And that he would be signed up as a follower of this blog. :)
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