"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling."

This is a blog about widows,
mothers and daughters,
facing change and challenges
and receiving ordinary, everyday blessings that don't seem quite so ordinary anymore.
It chronicles the journey from grief into the restoration of what has been lost.

*** I am no longer actively posting to this site, so please come visit me at my new site ***

http://www.jrrmblog.com/ - "Starting Over ... Again"

Tuesday, September 2, 2014




This is where I am posting about my new beginnings, new careers, new challenges ... all things new with me!  For example, my new career at the Oregon State Hospital, or my new adventure as a home-schooling mom.  :)

Thursday, June 19, 2014

At the Three Year Mark

Well, today marks three years since my husband died.  Three years that sometimes seems to have been an eternity, and other times seems to have gone by in a heartbeat.  Depends on which day you ask me.

As I was driving home from work last night around 10 p.m. I suddenly felt very quiet inside, and a little empty.  The very next song that came on the radio made me tear up a bit.  I didn't know what was wrong with me.  It's not "that time of the month!"

During the drive home (it's a 30 min drive) I thought about what might be causing this sudden melancholy.  As I tried to shake this feeling, I switched gears to thinking about the rest of the week and what I had planned.  Then it dawned on me - today is the 18th of June.  And that meant that tomorrow (well, today as I write this) is June 19th.

THE day. 
June 19th, 2011 - Father's Day, that year.

They say that your conscious mind may not remember right away, but your body remembers.  Your unconscious always remembers; always keeps track of the days and dates.  And even though I don't mark time now quite the same way that I have over the past few years, I still am brought face to face with certain days - whether I want to be or not.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

A post from my other blog, "Starting Over ... Again."

Here is a not-so-recent post from my other blog, which I have called "Starting Over ... Again."  I haven't posted anything recently on my blog here, so I thought I would share what's been going on in my life.

So please check it out - I hope you like it!  :)

Update on Training ... and please, lock your phones!

You can see more post about my new career, and what I have been up to, at this link:

"Starting Over ... Again"

Thursday, November 7, 2013

What To Say ... And What Not to Say ... To Someone Who Is Grieving.

I am always on the lookout for great posts and articles to share about grief, grieving and resources out there for folks who are in the grief process.  (And it is a PROCESS.)

Here is a blog post that I stumbled across on Pinterest.  I can't wait to share it with you, because it is a great post about what to say and what NOT to say to someone who is grieving.

So many people struggle with this.  I know that so many of our friends and family didn't know what to say or do after my husband's death a few years ago.  It's hard to know what is the "right" thing to say - something that will comfort in some way, and not add to the burden or sadness.

This post says it clearly and concisely.  It's what I have tried to convey, both in speaking to friends/family and in this blog.

Here is the blog post, from the "I Think We Could Be Friends" blog.

I hope this helps someone to better understand how to help someone who is grieving, and relieves some of the awkwardness that might be felt when we simply don't know what to say.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Educators Need To Be Educated About Grief in Children

The topic of kids and grief, and the teachers that teach these grieving children is a subject near and dear to my heart.  After the death of my husband over 2 years ago, we have experienced the need for teachers to be better educated about dealing with grieving kids first-hand.

Last year my youngest daughter had a hard time in school.  Her first year following her father's death was difficult, but nowhere near as difficult as the year that was to follow.  That second year she "hit a wall" in many ways, and the biggest obstacle was her grief.  What made it so hard on my daughter was her teacher's inability to understand my daughter's grief, and to recognize it for what it was.

I feel strongly that teachers need to be better educated about grief in children; how to recognize it, and how to help the child deal with those feelings.

Here is a great PDF for teachers about that very thing.

It's from the New York Life Foundation website, and that site is packed with lots of resources for teachers and parents.

Brookes Publishing has a link on that site to a book called "The Grieving Student - A Teacher's Guide."  I am considering buying a copy (or two) for the teachers at my daughter's school.

It's not difficult for teacher's to learn more about grief in children, and the signs and symptoms exhibited by grieving children.  I know that most of our teachers put in a great deal of time and effort to be equipped to help our kids.  I am not trying to add to their pile of work.

But a little time to become educated about grief in children, its signs and symptoms, and how to assist a child through this most difficult of times is time well spent.  Children need a strong support system, and the more caring adults they have to turn to - the better.  :)