In case you were wondering ...

About the title of this blog.  You already must have guessed that this is about grief and loss, and surviving all the challenges and changes associated with that state of being.  So it probably won't surprise you to find that the Bible verse referenced in the title is about widows and the fatherless:

Psalm 68:5

New International Version (NIV)

⁵ A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,

is God in his holy dwelling. 

OK, that takes care of the verse part.  Here is the definition of "Restoral":

: an act of restoring or the condition of being restored: as a: a bringing back to a former position or condition : reinstatement <the restoration of peace> b: restitution c: a restoring to an unimpaired or improved condition

It's a noun, and means restoration, but it's an older form of the word.  And I like old words.  :)

So my daughters and I are trusting God for these promises:  that He will be a father to them now that their earthly father is no longer here, and that God will also be my protector and defender.  AND because of His great love, He will restore to us what has been lost, over and above what we expect or deserve.  How's that for a great promise!

So there you have it - why this blog is called what it's called.

New Beginnings at mid-year

This is a new beginning for me.  July 2nd, 2012.  It's been just over a year since my husband, Robby, passed away and I became a widow.  I am hoping this blog can benefit not only me, but others as well.  For me, I want this to allow me to work through some things as I slowly "hunt and peck" out my feelings and struggles.  And believe me, when you are raising a young child (and a not-so-young child) as a single mom after 20 years of marriage - there will be struggles.  Lots of them.

For others, maybe this can become a window into what it's like to put the pieces back together again.  Trying to make all the right choices, and shouldering all the consequences alone.  God has taught me so much over the past year - well, two years actually.  Ever since Robby was diagnosed with a brain tumor in June 2010, and then his passing in June 2011 and the year since then, my dependence upon God has deepened tremendously.

We had a BBQ over the weekend that mirrored the BBQ we had last year after Robby's memorial service.  Robby passed away on Father's Day last year - needless to say, June was a tough month for my daughters and I this year.  But his birthday was June 30th so we had his memorial service, followed by a BBQ for family and close friends, on that day last year.  This year we repeated the BBQ and were blessed to have several family members join us.  Earlier in the day the girls each made a stepping stone in honor of their dad for the new flower garden we are planting.

It's been a year of great changes.  Well, great as in BIG, not great as in good.  But overall, we have made it through the year in the best shape possible.  It's still a long road - contrary to popular belief, there is no set time limit on grief.  Grief continues to haunt for a long time, although things do get easier (THEY say) as time goes on.  All the first-year anniversaries and milestones have passed.  We are settling into our "new normal" - seems like our normal changes periodically.  Just as soon as we would get used to changes in Robby illness that first year and adapt to those, something else would happen and we would have to adapt again.  And the past year without him has been no exception.  Change is the rule around here, but we are not a Marine wife/daughters for nothing - we improvise, we adapt, we overcome.  Life goes on, and we know that God holds us in the palm of His hand.