But now we are home, Oldest Daughter has returned to college and Youngest Daughter is still enjoying another month of summer before school starts. I am back to work, having done all the laundry that required doing and weeded the garden that grew dramatically while we were gone. OK, honestly I've only partially weeded it so far ... but I'm working on it. :)
Last night I sat down after Youngest Daughter was in bed, and put in a DVD to watch. It was "P.S. I Love You" - a poor choice for the night, it turns out. It's always been a favorite, but for obvious reasons has been hard to watch for the past year or so. Well, I tried it again last night - and the pain was still there. Cried and had to turn it off after about the first 30 minutes. Still reminds me too much of the pain of losing my husband. I have found that I am still on this road of grief ... or should I say, I had a pitstop in Grief-ville last night. A reminder that it's not over yet. Far from over ... but getting better.
So here are some thoughts to share, for those who are on this road along with me:
"Your Grieving Heart" - Recover From Grief website
There are three major points for you to keep in mind as you go through your "work of mourning":
- You will have your own unique way of expressing and experiencing grief. As long as it is changing, and moving, and "fluid", it is normal grieving.
- WHAMO! Brought to your knees again by intense grief. And you'll wonder if you are making any progress at all. You are. The passage of time assures this.
- It really will come to an end. In it's own time. You will come back to life with loving remembrance in your heart, ready to embrace life again without your beloved at your side. You will gradually feel stronger and more in charge of your life. It really does end.
