Why is this so tough?!

Why is it so difficult to have a regular mealtime?!  We use to do that.  We used to have a regular time when we would sit down together for a meal.  Breakfast used to be a no-brainer.  I had that handled from early on when the girls started school.  Robby never had breakfast with us because he was usually out of the house early for work, and not much of a breakfast eater anyway. But it was heathy and on the table before the girls left for school.  And dinner, although sometimes hit and miss, was usually accomplished with a minimum of fuss.  We managed to spend most nights eating dinner around the same time, even if it wasn't always while gathered around the dining room table.  So what has happened to this once-capable mom?

I am told by the experts (whose helpful advice I read in so many books on death/grief/loss) that it's one of those things that happens when your world is uprooted like ours.  And yet having a schedule and routines is one of the most important things you can do for yourself and your child, especially when things are in an upheaval.  Aaargh!

Here's what THEY say (you know - the experts):

"Create Structure -
Structure can be a huge source of comfort for kids. Do what you can to stabilize your routines, including your kids' nightly bedtime routine¹, so that they'll have a general idea of what to expect from one moment to the next. Simple consistencies like serving meals at the same time each day can also help to create a stable atmosphere even while your emotions remain turbulent."

I try - honest, I do.  Menu plans have been researched and printed.  They don't last long; that's just not how we roll.  We are more of a "seat of the pants" family at the moment.  Whatever is in the fridge or cupboards is fair game for mealtimes.  Healthy eating is an elusive dream most of the time, although I honestly do try.

Bedtime has been easier to maintain.  For whatever reason that is an area where we are able to stay structured.  And that has been good for Rachel, even though she has been more anxious about me leaving the room at night when I tuck her in bed.  She gets out of bed more often with the usual myriad of excuses - not every night, but more often than she would normally.  And it seems like the only time she wants to talk about what's bothering her is at bedtime - and I hate to cut her off when she is trying to share with me something of importance.  Overall however, bedtime is the least of my worries.

We are in a state of flux right now - and have been for awhile.  And I guess that's OK - for now.  The watchword these days is "adapt."  We extend ourselves grace, and know that we may never even come close to being a normal family again.  But we do alright.  I suppose if by "normal" you mean functioning, then we are doing just fine.  Considering everything, we do indeed manage to hold it together.  And it does get better - I am counting on that, as I hold onto God's promises for all of us.