Finances #1 - Tithing And Giving As A Widow

Did this strike a chord with anyone? 

Tithing may be a sore subject with some people.  Others may embrace this philosophy wholeheartedly.  Either way, I want to write about what I believe ... and I believe this is an important part of your financial planning.

I have seen first-hand how important this piece of my financial puzzle has become.  It may not seem logical if you are in dire money straits to be giving away what you feel that you need to survive.  Why would God ask us to give to others when we are worrying daily how we will survive and take care of our family?  We are worrying about paying our bills, and the pastor just preached another sermon on the importance of giving.  No joke ... mine did, just last week.  That's what got me started on this post.  And trust me on  this ... it makes "cents."  Pun intended.  :)

Whether you use your Bible to justify it, or you simply feel like "you get back what you give" ... it is important that you are giving, even when you feel as if your budget is telling you that you can't afford to give.  I am not saying that you should just hand over all your money to a church or organization.  I am saying that you sit down, and determine what you are able to give - what you truly feel "led" to share - and then set that plan in motion.

Here's why I feel strongly about this:

1. There are always people who are worse off than you.  If you have a home, sigh in relief and be grateful.  If you can put food on the table, smile and rejoice.  If you are wearing shoes right now, wiggle those toes and be happy.  God has provided your needs.  There are many who don't have the things with which you have been blessed.  This is not to make you feel guilty, it's to get you to realize that we often focus on our own wants (notice I didn't say needs) and we end up feeling sorry for ourselves.  Pity party in progress!
2. God has provided everything we have.  We may think that we have worked oh so hard, and have met our own needs ... but just who gave you the skills you use to earn your paycheck?  Who gave you the breaks or opened the doors for you to prosper?  As Christians, we know that we are dependent upon God for our protection, our survival and our prosperity. 

Malachi 3:10 says, " Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it."

2 Corinthians 9:7 says,"[So let] each one [give] as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver."

 Luke 6:38 says "give and it will be given to you, a good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over it will pour into your lap, for by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you in return."
 
There are folks that say you must give 10%, others that say you must be "Spirit-led" and give what the Holy Spirit tells you to give.  I believe there is a difference between tithing and giving.  Tithing is a spiritual discipline where you set aside 10% of your income to give to God's work - essentially giving it back to God.  Giving, for me, falls under the heading of "Spirit-led" and is over and above the monthly tithing.  It's for those times of extra abundance, and when there is a special need presented that I can fill.

However you choose to define it, and whether you choose tithing or giving or both ... the important idea is to share with others what you have been given, and to give back to God some of what He has blessed you with.

You might wonder how you could ever give away what you need yourself.  I can tell you from personal experience that God does indeed "fill in the gaps."  Just like the story from 2 Kings 4:1-7:

1 One day the widow of one of Elisha's fellow prophets came to Elisha and cried out to him, "My husband who served you is dead, and you know how he feared the LORD. But now a creditor has come, threatening to take my two sons as slaves." 2 "What can I do to help you?" Elisha asked. "Tell me, what do you have in the house?""Nothing at all, except a flask of olive oil," she replied. 3 And Elisha said, "Borrow as many empty jars as you can from your friends and neighbors. 4 Then go into your house with your sons and shut the door behind you. Pour olive oil from your flask into the jars, setting the jars aside as they are filled." 5 So she did as she was told. Her sons brought many jars to her, and she filled one after another. 6 Soon every container was full to the brim!"Bring me another jar," she said to one of her sons."There aren't any more!" he told her. And then the olive oil stopped flowing. 7 When she told the man of God what had happened, he said to her, "Now sell the olive oil and pay your debts, and there will be enough money left over to support you and your sons."

As a widow, I need to live in expectation that God will act on my behalf - according to my faith.  God will supply my needs, according to my trust in Him.  My trust in His goodness and acts of faith, such as tithing/giving, will bring more abundance into my life.

Whether you are in a season of plenty or a season of want...the expectation is that you trust God. That you start with what you have, be willing to do whatever it takes, act believing God will show up and honor God with the results.

"Blessed are those who mourn ..."

"Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted."

Matthew 5:4

Here is a link to my new Pinterest board about grief.

Answering Questions Children Have About Death

Kids may have a lot of questions about death.  I know Rachel did.  She was 8 years old when Robby died, and even though she didn't ask many questions early on, she has asked many questions over the course of the past year (and asked some questions more than once.)  Her biggest fear was that something would happen to me, and the question she asked the most was "What will happen to me if you die, Mom?"

Here's a book that might be helpful for those who are answering questions and trying to explain death to a young child:



Here are some typical questions that may be asked by the child when a parent has died:

Is death like sleeping?
Death is different from sleeping. When you go to sleep your body still works. You still breathe and your heart beats and you dream. When a person is dead, his or her body doesn't work anymore. Remember that children who are told that death is like sleeping may develop fears about falling asleep.

Why did they die?
If the death was from an illness, explain that the person's body couldn't fight the sickness any more. It stopped working. Make sure your children know that if they get the flu or a cold, or if mom or dad get sick, their bodies can fight the illness and get better. Their bodies still work. Explain that people do not usually die when they get sick. Most people get better. If the death was from an accident, explain that the person was hurt so badly that his or her body stopping working. Explain that when most people get hurt they can get better and live a long, long time.

Will you die? Will I die?
Children are looking for reassurance. Let your child know that most people live for a very long time. Children also need to know who will take care of them if a parent or guardian dies. Let them know who to go to for help if there is a family emergency.

Did I do or think something bad to cause the death?
Maybe your child had a fight with the person who died. Maybe your child wished this person wasn't around to get so much attention from other family members. Maybe your child said, "I wish you'd go away from me," or even "I wish you were dead." Reassure your children that saying and wishing things do not cause a death to happen.

Will they come back?
"Forever" is a hard concept for young children to understand. They see that people go away and come back. Cartoon characters die and then jump up again. Young children may need to be told several times that the person won't be back ever.

Is she cold? What will he eat?
Young children may think the dead body still has feelings and walks and talks under the ground. Some children might imagine a cemetery as a sort of "underground apartment complex." You may need to explain that the body doesn't work anymore. It can't breathe, walk, talk or eat anymore.

Why did God let this happen?
Answer questions related to God and your faith according to your own beliefs. You may also want the counsel of your clergy. It's okay to not have answers for everything. Children can accept that you, too, have a hard time understanding some things. It is best to avoid suggesting God "took" someone to be with him, or that "only the good die young". Some children may fear that God will take them away too. They may try to be "bad" so that they won't die, also.

Returning to School
Going back to school following a death can be difficult. You can make this easier by helping your children with possible answers to questions and remarks. Schoolmates may not always be sensitive to your children's feelings. Tell the child that, if they don't want to, they don't have to answer questions. Explain that others may be uncomfortable talking about the person who died. Your home can be a place where you and your child can talk about and remember the loved one. You may want to talk with the school principal, your child's teacher, the school social worker, or counselor, to plan for a surviving child's return to school. You may also want to discuss what information you would like shared with his/her classmates.

Taken from How Can I Help Young Surviving Children