One thing that I am finding to be very helpful in dealing with my grief and the grief of my daughters is my family members, and our closeness - not just in proximity, but emotionally, too. We have always been a close-knit family and I am so thankful for that now.
It's tough being the only parent. I am the most important adult in my daughters' lives right now, and that can feel overwhelming at times. There is no one to "back me up" when it's time for discipline, and no one to share the joys and small victories with either. It is very lonely being a widow. Sure, during the day there is lots of hustle and activity. Lots to be done and distractions are easy to come by. But when the house gets quiet and dark - that's a different story. My tears tend to catch up with me in the shower, when I am getting ready for bed each night.
It's important for my daughters (and for me) to have other adults in their lives to help and support them over this difficult time. And let's not kid ourselves - "this difficult time" is going to be around for awhile. Every time there is a new milestone reached, there will also be a look backward, wishing that Dad was here to be a part of it. We carry that loss forward with us from now on.
But having their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins close at hand helps to let them know they are not alone, and there are others looking out for them as well. One of Rachel's biggest fears has been that something would happen to me - that she would lose BOTH her parents. Making sure she knows that there are family members that love her and would take care of her, should something happen to me, has helped a little to allay her fears.
We are blessed to have my brother, my sister and her husband, my parents, and close family friends whom we consider family all nearby. The guys are on call whenever I need help with the lawnmower, or a garden tilled, or advice on how to pressure wash the house or start the Traeger grill. And there are cousins nearby for the girls to hang out with, and enjoy some time away from Mom and her harping at them. :)
You can't pick your family - God does that for you. I think He did a pretty good job in my case - I feel very blessed!
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